I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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