I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
we're making bets on your personal life
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
