SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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