yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize