sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
