windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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