that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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