It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
