You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
