I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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