i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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