But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
