You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
