I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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