i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
its liver damage thursday
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