Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
handjob tips. give me some.
is wine microwaveable?
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
