Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
