it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
How does it feel to date your dad?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
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