i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Randomize
