Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
