Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Randomize