i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
