So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
