if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
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