what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
It's official drugs can't kill me
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
did you just send me my own nude
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
