im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
