i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
