is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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