i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
