whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
