My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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