ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
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