lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
