fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize