I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
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