he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
