its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
