They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
