Sry I called you an 8
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize