So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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