I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
