dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
