So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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