problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Randomize
