it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize