whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Let's paint friendship bongs
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize