watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
