I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
