She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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