lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Randomize
