nut hugger
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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