You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
