Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
