11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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