found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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