I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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