im about as happy as oj after his trial
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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