he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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