If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
