Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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