She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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