how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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