I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
