is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Randomize
