Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I can text with my tongue
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
