The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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