I think im going to throw up on grandma
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I had to cum in my sink.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
