Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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