I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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