OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize